in the whisper.

There is a whisper in the deepest part of my soul.  It sits right next to the longing.  No doubt that both were placed side by side by an intentional God.  I long to do something for children whose circumstances are wrong, whose love is present but not returned, whose hearts ache and they do not notice because they have never lived without an ache.  This longing is compounded by my heart, my passion, my love for special needs children.  It's so intense.  It burns. 

Enter circumstances.

There is nothing in my life right now that spells "go".  It simply signals that I halt, that I wait.  There must be a purpose for this passion, this longing, this love.  Oh that I might sit patiently and wait for his plan to unfold in circumstances that feel impossible.

Resurrection.

I long for resurrection.

Resurrection of dreams, of traveling the road that leads to difference.

After all, I am claimed by the God of resurrection.  Have at it, God.  Use these deep passions of my soul. 

It's

all

for

You,

great

God.


Reaching for his hem,
Ann

before my King.

Job did it.   And, he was found blameless.

David did it.  And, he was a king after all.

So I did it today.  I ushered myself before my King and shared that I am not pleased. 

And, I asked him to blot that lousy state out of my heart.  I told him that I am craving him. 

I want to hear his heartbeat.  I want to feel his hand.  I do not understand him.  I wish I understood why I would give him my life and he would allow these difficult moments to enter in.  I do not see his plan or how his hand could be in it.  I cried at him.

And, I knew it was okay.  I knew he holds my tears and my hand. 

It was okay because he already knew everything I was feeling and he welcomed it.  He welcomed all of it - the lousy and the ungrateful along with the belief and the grateful.  That is just the kind of God he is.  He wants me as he made me, not a me who wears a mask or pretends I have it all figured out.  

Job received joy.  David received purpose.  I know he's got a plan for me also.  And you, too.

We'll find it.  We'll see it.  He promised.

Reaching for his hem,
Ann

Beautiful Things.

There are beautiful things in this journey,

even when the pain is immeasurable,

when the person you love cannot be found underneath their facade,

when you cannot figure out how to take yet another step.

This, even this, all of this, will be made into a beautiful thing.

Reaching for the hem of his garment,

Ann