Monday, February 28, 2011
before my King.
Job did it. And, he was found blameless.
David did it. And, he was a king after all.
So I did it today. I ushered myself before my King and shared that I am not pleased.
And, I asked him to blot that lousy state out of my heart. I told him that I am craving him.
I want to hear his heartbeat. I want to feel his hand. I do not understand him. I wish I understood why I would give him my life and he would allow these difficult moments to enter in. I do not see his plan or how his hand could be in it. I cried at him.
And, I knew it was okay. I knew he holds my tears and my hand.
It was okay because he already knew everything I was feeling and he welcomed it. He welcomed all of it - the lousy and the ungrateful along with the belief and the grateful. That is just the kind of God he is. He wants me as he made me, not a me who wears a mask or pretends I have it all figured out.
Job received joy. David received purpose. I know he's got a plan for me also. And you, too.
We'll find it. We'll see it. He promised.
Reaching for his hem,